The Accidental CDC Guidelines for Reopening Schools
After reading the CDC guidelines for reopening schools, I am starting to think it was written as a joke after a long “liquid lunch” and then it accidentally went out. “Hey, Steve, ya know what […]
humor
Things I’ve Learned Thanks to the Coronavirus
1. We’ve all been undervaluing pants with elastic waist bands. 2. I’ll never look at toilet paper the same way again. 3. I suspect this whole Coronavirus thing was masterminded by the “Dog Community” as […]
Texts From my Daughter: the mouse
My darling daughter lives alone in a studio apartment. After working three 12hr shifts in ICU, she went home to sleep. And then woke up, sent me the attached screenshot, and informed me she was […]
Love In the Age of Coronavirus: a short story
Natalie was nervous. She knew she shouldn’t be. She was out-going and friendly, always ready with a smile. She shined at social gatherings-the girl everyone seemed to gravitate to. A magnet that drew others to […]
Beyond the #BroomChallenge
I know everyone is trying to get their brooms to stand up on their own with the #broomchallenge, but what you might not know is that right now until the end of the week, the […]
A Royal Application
Dear Queen Elizabeth, I understand there is an opening in the royal family and I would like to humbly submit my application. Although I have no formal royal training, I do have a set of […]
Shark Week Portraits
In honor of this most special week, I present my Shark Week Portraits. They are just like regular portraits, but, you know, with a shark in it. xoxo
A Letter of Complaint, from Her Majesty, The Queen
Dearest Harry and Meghan, I am writing in regards to the birth of your son, for whom we are all anxiously awaiting a name, and it is precisely that name causing many a sleepless night. […]
Jesus’ Easter Social Media Campaign
Jesus does not need a social media campaign for Easter, but if He did, I would love to design it: #SuckitSatan “Where’s your nails, NOW?” #YOLF: you only live FOREVER #ResurrectionRocks! (And then I would […]
I Want My Photo in a Cracker Barrel
One of my life goals is to have a photo of myself hanging in a Cracker Barrel. Not while I’m alive, of course, but hopefully years from now, after I have gone to the great […]