Shark Week Portraits
In honor of this most special week, I present my Shark Week Portraits. They are just like regular portraits, but, you know, with a shark in it. xoxo
humor
A Letter of Complaint, from Her Majesty, The Queen
Dearest Harry and Meghan, I am writing in regards to the birth of your son, for whom we are all anxiously awaiting a name, and it is precisely that name causing many a sleepless night. […]
Jesus’ Easter Social Media Campaign
Jesus does not need a social media campaign for Easter, but if He did, I would love to design it: #SuckitSatan “Where’s your nails, NOW?” #YOLF: you only live FOREVER #ResurrectionRocks! (And then I would […]
I Want My Photo in a Cracker Barrel
One of my life goals is to have a photo of myself hanging in a Cracker Barrel. Not while I’m alive, of course, but hopefully years from now, after I have gone to the great […]
Marie Kondo vs. The Mom Method
Women are paying $2000 for a “certification” from Marie Kondo that allows them to tell other people how to throw their stuff away and stop living in such a mess. Those achieving top certification status […]
Dear Jimmy Fallon
Dear Jimmy Fallon, I realize that you aren’t a personal fan of every single person you interview; I mean, you couldn’t be, right? You interview tons of people on The Tonight Show, and there are […]
A Letter of Complaint from Her Majesty, The Queen
(Please Note: I can neither confirm nor deny this letter was sent. I personally think the portrait is marvelous, but I’ve been called “Old School,” so what do I know?) Dear Annie Leibovitz, I am […]