Things I’ve Learned Thanks to the Coronavirus

1. We’ve all been undervaluing pants with elastic waist bands.

2. I’ll never look at toilet paper the same way again.

3. I suspect this whole Coronavirus thing was masterminded by the “Dog Community” as a way to keep owners at home as much as possible and get 4 walks a day

4. I will never look at toilet paper the same way again. Yes, I know I’ve said this twice.

5. Cake IS a breakfast food. And because of this, refer back to #1.

6. Some people spell “quarantine:” as Corn Teen. I’m actually okay with this and might start spelling it that way, myself.

7. My “emergency food” supply looks WAY better than what’s normally in my pantry.

8. There were actually people who didn’t realize before this just how important it is to wash your hands.

9. When you sneeze or cough in the grocery store due to bad allergies, people 6ft away from you will immediately jump back an additional 10ft.

10. Liquor stores are deemed “essential” businesses. I don’t know who made this call, but I’m pretty sure we would be friends. (On a personal note: thank you, Jubilation Beer Wine & Spirits for being so great.)

11. My new bedtime routine while working from home: changing from my “day pajamas,” into my “night pajamas.”

12. Remember that time when we were worried about getting salmonella from eating raw cookie dough and E.coli from our salads? I miss that time.

13. As each day of this ordeal passes, I’ve found myself playing the “Is it too early for a cocktail?” game. I said firmly today, “No. No it is not.” It was 7am.

Yes, I’ve learned a lot of things I never knew before…

and yet, in spite of everything, my heart is warmed by those things I’ve always known: life goes on. Babies are still being born, birds are still singing, flowers are still blooming, birthdays are still happening, people are still laughing and falling in love and holding tight to the love and assurance of family and friends.

Stay safe, my friends.
Stay well.
You mean the world to me.


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