I Want a Freaking Doughnut

As part of my annual, OMG-it’s-April-and-I-will-be-in-a-swimsuit-soon freakout, I decided to cut back my sugar intake. This involves removing all processed sugars, and limiting my grains. I am not, however, eating saturated fats (yeah, dairy products-I’m looking at you) because I am rather fond of my heart and would like to keep it beating. My gallbladder is also thanking me for this decision. 

And I’ve read the posts from people also eating in a similar fashion. They are encouraging posts. Happy posts. Posts that read:

“I’ve eliminated sugar and carbs from my diet for a week now and I feel great! My headaches are gone, my joints don’t hurt and what’s more, I don’t even crave sugar anymore. Bread no longer seems appealing. YAY!”

I’ve been eating this way for two weeks. Two weeks. And after cutting out sugar and most grains from my diet, I can say with all sincerity that I would murder my next door neighbor for a doughnut. 

If anything, the cravings are only getting worse. It’s like when it comes to cravings, I’m Benjamin Buttoning. I see happy people eating chips and salsa, cheerfully munching those crisp salty chips, oblivious to my plate of stupid chicken and vegetables and I want to yell at them “YOU DON’T KNOW HOW GOOD YOU HAVE IT.”

I’m giving it one more week. Yeah, I’ve lost 7 pounds but at what cost. AT WHAT COST, PEOPLE? All I can say is that you have NO idea how mad I will be if I refrain from eating sugar and end up getting hit by a truck.

In that unlikely event, St. Peter might want to evacuate the pearly gates. It won’t be pretty. Unless he’s at the gates with a box of Shipley Do-Nuts in which case, we’re all good.


Dear doughnut, you are my best friend. I miss you.

2 Comments on I Want a Freaking Doughnut

  1. I have a friend that went almost totally non-carb, and eats cheese, meat, etc. and has lost a ton of weight. He had been a type 2 diabetic, and now is no longer. Fantastic.
    But there is no way I’m giving up carbs. Instead, I downloaded an app for my iPhone (Lose It!) and have been using that to track what I eat and lose weight. I’ve lost 8 1/2 pounds in about a month. Down from 198.5 to 190, and my goal is to get to at least 173, so I’ll no longer be overweight according to my BMI. I’m also moving more – mostly walking, and at least a couple miles a day.
    If I want a waffle with syrup and butter, I do it, just knowing that I’ll need to walk more and eat lighter the rest of the day.
    And, yes, I have had a donut or two along the way. Works for me.

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