I am so over all the political ads currently running on tv and radio, although, I have to admit, they are probably super fun to write. I took a crack at it:
This is Terry Shmanarry.
She once KNOWINGLY left Costco with an UNPAID item on the bottom of her basket.
She yells at people driving in the passing lane, once going so far as to roll down her window and scream, “If people are passing you in the RIGHT lane, YOU are in the WRONG lane!”
Even her own co-workers admit she often doesn’t wash her hands after using the restroom.
<cut to woman speaking to camera while reading off cue cards> “Yeah, I seen her not washin’ her hands. What kind of human bein’ doesn’t wash their hands? It’s like some sort of plot to infect the entire office.”
She loses her temper.
She steals food.
She spreads disease.
Oh yeah, and we’re pretty sure she hates kids. All kids. especially yours.
If you care about the future, vote NO on Terry Shmanarry.
<quick voice over> This was a paid advertisement from the People Who Hate Everything About Terry.