It’s a new year and so, we make new goals. I’ve always thought the process was a bit goofy–as if we have to wait an entire year to make a goal? Please. We can do that with each new day. Or new hour.
But since it seems to be the thing to do, I have compiled a list of my 2016 Goals. And, here we go…
1. If I want a cookie, I shall eat the cookie.
It’s not that I’m going to go out of my way to eat unhealthy, it’s just that I refuse to be that person who has 2% body fat and always works out and is in perfect shape and then keels over from something unexpected. Do you know how mad I’d be if I gave up cookies and then got hit by a truck? Life is too short, no matter how long it is. So, if I see a cookie and I want the cookie, I”m going to eat the cookie. Same goes for pie, cake and doughnuts.
2. I shall stop trying to explain myself.
When I make a joke or a point, I think about it. I never haphazardly post something; I always consider it carefully.
Will someone take offense?
Will someone misunderstand my intentions?
Will someone be able to add the words “thats what she said” to it?
The answer to one or more of these questions is always “yes,” so I figure that 2016 is the year I stop trying to explain myself. If you get it, you get it. If you don’t, well, that’s okay. And if you’re offended, I’m sorry. Wait…no, I’m not sorry. Boy, it is hard staying on top of all this. (That’s what she said.)
3. I shall come up with some nonsensical item for sale marketed toward photographers.
***A pricing guide guaranteed to help you make more money. It will sell for $99 and be available as a download. When the pdf is opened, it will read:
HOW TO RAISE PRICES:
Look at your current prices
***A set of used Old Navy mannequins to help photographers pose families. I shall call it the “Man-You-CAN Pose Families.” It will sell for $5,000.
***A makeup line JUST for female photographers. Or male photographers, if that’s your thing. No judgement here. It will be just like regular makeup, except for the words “For Photographers” on the packaging. I shall call it “Clicknique.”
4. I shall stop drinking vodka and eating bacon.
(Okay, this was just a joke. I was wondering how it would feel to even type that. Not good. I’m all shaky now.)
5. I will make more of an effort to use the back four silverware baskets in the dishwasher.
I call them the “Lonely 4” because they rarely get used. The dishwasher is opened slightly and the dirty forks, knives and spoons are crammed into the baskets closest to the front, leaving the back 4 baskets empty. I feel kind of bad about this and I’m one of the biggest culprits of this activity. Sorry Lonely 4; I’ll do right by you in 2016.
6. I will stop driving around with my Jeep’s gas tank on empty.
I know I need gas. I can see the little gas tank indicator approaching empty, and yet, I figure I can get a few more stops in before I take time to fill up. And then, I forget about it until I’m driving on fumes and I end up bothering God with, “Please, Lord, don’t let me run out of gas and I promise I will not do this again.” And, of course, I do. In 2016, I will fill up when hit ¼ tank left. (And right now the Lord is looking down on this statement and going, “Riiiiiiight. I give her a week before I hear from her about this gas thing.”)
7. I will continue to pursue Perspective over Balance.
That Balance thing will knock your self-esteem faster than standing in a bikini next to a super model. I choose Perspective. Sometimes, I have to remind myself to choose it on a daily basis, but it’s totally worth the effort.
8. I will help promote Common Sense.
I’m considering starting an organization called Crusaders for Common Sense. The tag line: “Okay, let’s think about this…” The logo would be green and there could be a rainbow or unicorn involved. Members would each be assigned a cape and annual conventions would be held at Disneyland.
9. I will continue to love this industry and the people in it with my whole heart.
Unless you’re trying to take advantage of the hard working men and women in this industry, and then you’re gonna get a raised eyebrow and a very disapproving look from me.
10. I will be thankful for it ALL.
All of it: the messes, the problems, the Life Lessons…I will embrace them and remember that it is through them that we grow as people. No one is ever challenged to become better by going through easy times.
11. I will listen to those around me; appreciate others opinions even if I don’t agree with them, and try to help make my corner of the world a better place, secure in the knowledge that I know who I am.
And if I make a video you find disagreeable, refer to #2.
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