Everybody Needs to Chill the Heck Out. Pretty Please.

I engage in observational humor with a side of satire. It’s what I do. I look at the world around me and my mind goes to the funny. It always has and there are times I wish it didn’t, because it’s gotten me into trouble now and then. But it is what it is. I am who I am. And, believe it or not, I don’t say everything that’s on my mind. Not by a long shot. I have a folder on my desktop entitled “Things I’ve Written But Will Never Post.” My family has strict instructions to post that mother the moment my heart stops beating. I’m sure I’ll watch the drama unfold from heaven while sitting next to my mom sipping cocktails. FREE cocktails, because…heaven.

Yes, I always try to find the funny in the world around me, and I find many times when I post my observations, those  born with the humor-deficient gene immediately go from zero to offended in 1.2 seconds. They rise up in a dark cloud of self-important indignation and assign to this humor labels such as hater, bully, and words far worse; words that make me wonder if they kiss their kids with those mouths.

Hey, if you need it, take it.

(I personally think there needs to be a “Humor Support Group” for those dear folks unable to come to terms with it. I can only imagine them watching a Jimmy Kimmel monologue or an SNL sketch and getting so worked up over the horribleness of it all.  I like to believe that, deep down, they want to get it, but there’s something preventing the humor comprehension and we need to break through so these dear folks can laugh once again. Or possibly for the first time.)

But either way, nobody ever has to agree with me. I say what I think and you might not agree. I realize that. And you know what? THAT’S OKAY. You have a right to feel and think what you do, but then, so do I. So does everyone.

But I’ve noticed this rather awful trend happening. It’s the trend of “Your Opinion Doesn’t Count.”  It’s been happening for awhile but it seems to be gathering momentum. And when certain topics are discussed, and opinions clash, civility is thrown out the window and the discussion turns to a shouting match.

It seems that if you engage in any one of the following discussions, you are practically guaranteed to lose friends:

  • Same Sex Marriage
  • The Presidential Election
  • Abortion
  • Hybrid cars
  • Vaccinations
  • Breastfeeding
  • Legalized marijuana
  • Genetically Modified Crops
  • Global Warming
  • Cops
  • Handguns
  • The Middle East
  • Jesus
  • Sex Discrmination
  • God in Advertising
  • MLM’s
  • Feminism
  • Chauvinism
  • Racism
  • Most any “ism”
  • Christopher Columbus
  • Crowd Funding
  • Native Americans
  • Hunting
  • Workshops
  • Oil
  • Fracking
  • Obama’s Birth Certificate
  • Parenting
  • Atheists
  • Military
  • Republicans
  • Democrats
  • Entitlements
  • Welfare
  • Pornography
  • Bullying
  • The Confederate flag
  • Trans-anything

and last but not least, Taylor Swift

And I don’t know about you, but I’m kind of tired of that.

Friends don’t need to agree on everything. It’s totally okay and makes for a more interesting world when they don’t.  Viewpoints are made to be shared and discussed like HUMAN BEINGS, not wild savage animals looking to rip the flesh from those they disagree with. And at the end of the day, it might be a case of agreeing to disagree, shaking hands, and then going out together to drink vodka.

People are not awful because they disagree with you. The awfulness is found in the attitude that thinks otherwise.

(Note: I have friends who only drink wine. I will not, NOT, exclude them because they don’t like vodka and say it tastes awful. They are wrong, of course, but we are still friends. I’m open-minded like that. xoxo)

5 Comments on Everybody Needs to Chill the Heck Out. Pretty Please.

  1. You forgot to put mowing your lawn in straight lines or criss cross. I won’t even mention farmer’s plowing lines because there have been many ugly turnouts at the Farm Bureau to discuss a ‘certain’ farmer. (I kid you not)

    • Well, sure. I mean, that’s the sort of thing every American should get their knickers in a wad over. “Hey, Bill, come here and take a look at Jeff’s lawn. That crazy SOB mowed his lawn in a sort of zig zag pattern. A ZIG ZAG PATTERN, Bill! What was he thinking? I mean, he could have chosen straight lines or even those criss cross patterns some of the guys are doing, but no. It’s like he didn’t even consider it. I, for one, won’t be able to sleep tonight knowing this is out there in the world.” xoxo (PS. Linda, you have my sympathies over this. Yikes.)

  2. Lynn Cartia- your missives should be banned by counselors and psychiatrists everywhere. Here I am – 57 years old- and after reading your posts I am not on – Lithium, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Ritalin or any other drugs- ( well actually Aleve after a long shoot…).

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